Poop Vs Cigarette

One day, I thought of coming up with a silly list of things. I can't remember how I thought about this, but one thing for sure, it's fun.

Similarity:

1. They’re both brown…you can say.

2. They’re both long (though not always).

3. They both give a long exhale/satisfaction/ ‘huuuuuufff….’ sound as you excrete it from your body.

4. They both need to be thrown away.

5. They are both, at times, flushed down the toilet.

6. You can do it anywhere (though not always appropriate) but there are designated areas where you are allowed to do so.

7. You can use it as a torture device...in a completely different way.

8. They both smell.

9. They both have the word “butt” in their dictionary circle.

10. They both may be used to insult people. [fag & sh*t]

11. They’re both experienced by all of the human sex.

 

12. You sometimes need to spend money to do the deed (buy cigarette, pay public toilets) and sometimes you can do it for free.

13. Too much of it may leads to sickness. [Diarrhea, lung cancer]

Differences:

1. You don’t need to stop pooping. You will never hear a person saying "I'm gonna quit pooping".

2. You can ask for a free cigarette from your friends but I don't think you would do that with the other one.

3. There is no addiction in pooping. You just know that you have to.

4. You can’t poop every several hours. If you do, go to the hospital.

5. You don’t get an official term named ‘poop break’.

6. You don't (really) ask another person to join you to poop. You are less likely to have conversations between bathroom stalls with other people.

7. You don’t have to be butt naked when you smoke…unless you smoke as you poop.

8. You don’t need to wipe after smoking.

9. There is no official ‘no pooping’ sign with a red diagonal line across a brown drawing of poop.

10. Animal can poop too but not necessarily smoke.

11. When pooping, you use chest muscles, diaphragm, abdominal wall muscles, and pelvic diaphragm. When smoking…well, you don’t need your pelvic diaphragm.

12. When you stop smoking, it's called quitting. When you stop pooping, it's called constipation.